I have been known to buy them in moments of weakness, but I don’t really approve of joke cookbooks. I own dozens of cookbooks with barely usable recipes, but I make a distinction between books that are [...]]]> Margolis, Jack S. and Daud Alani. Cooking for Orgies and Other Large Parties. Los Angeles: Cliff House Books, 1972.

I have been known to buy them in moments of weakness, but I don’t really approve of joke cookbooks. I own dozens of cookbooks with barely usable recipes, but I make a distinction between books that are intentionally bad and those that have merely aged poorly. Cooking for Orgies and Other Large Parties: How to Cook and Serve Fabulous Six-Course Gourmet Dinners for Ten to Thirty People in One Hour for $1.00 per Person has always been a crowd pleaser, though, and I feel some genuine affection for it.

The authors, Jack S. Margolis and Daud Alani, claim to be “Hollywood Bachelors” with no first-hand knowledge of orgies. Their “friend,” Ernie Lundquist, “has an orgy…every Wednesday night at 9:00 p.m.,” and has taught them everything they know. Perhaps because of their lack of experience, or perhaps, as I suspect, because they are mostly excited about their cooking method (see below), Margolis and Daud don’t devote much of the book to talk of orgies. There are naughty line drawings throughout, and there is a perfunctory “Special Consideration” section at  the beginning, complete with a suggested time-table (”9:30-12:00: Free Play”), but that’s about it:

They quickly move on to the meat of the book, as promised in the subtitle: “How to Cook and Serve Fabulous Six-Course Gourmet Dinners for Ten to Thirty People in One Hour for $1.00 Per Person.” Their definitions of “Fabulous” and “Gourmet” may differ from mine, and, but I like their approach. Each recipe is presented as part of a menu. The book then provides two sets of instructions, one for making each dish step-by-step, and one “integrated recipe,” wherein all of the dishes in the menu are made simultaneously. Not a bad idea, really. It would help, of course, if their recipes sounded appetizing. The menu below, in which spare ribs are marinated in frozen orange juice, tabbouleh is scrambled with eggs before serving, and avocados are doused with apricot brandy is, unfortunately, indicative of their questionable taste.

Things don’t improve much in the seventh menu. The zucchini recipe calls for two tablespoons of instant coffee, and the Strange Bananas are coated in a sauce made from bread crumbs, buttermilk, and banana liqueur. Strange indeed.

Margolis may not be a trustworthy cook, but if his other books are any indication, he would probably make an entertaining host. They include A Child’s Garden of Grass: The Official Handbook for Marijuana Users (in which Ernie Lundquist makes another appearance), Jack S. Margolis’ Complete Book of Recreational Drugs, The Poetry of Richard Milhous Nixon (really!), and The Ins and Outs of Orgies.

Cookbooks that focus on one ingredient are often published by companies with a vested interest in promoting filberts, or mayonnaise, or what have you. According to Amazon, Be Bold with Bananas was produced for Fruit Distributors Ltd, Banana Importers of Wellington, New Zealand. When a company trying [...]]]> Be Bold with Bananas. New York: Crescent Books, [1972?].

Cookbooks that focus on one ingredient are often published by companies with a vested interest in promoting filberts, or mayonnaise, or what have you. According to Amazon, Be Bold with Bananas was produced for Fruit Distributors Ltd, Banana Importers of Wellington, New Zealand. When a company trying to sell bananas decides to put together a cookbook about bananas, all sense of perspective apparently goes out the window, with predictably hilarious results. The basic premise of the book is that bananas will improve and enliven every meal you cook, from dinner (banana meat loaf, anyone?) to dessert (perhaps you’d like the banana jelly custard?). Things really begin to fall apart, though, with the photography:

I’ve seen a lot of questionable food photography, but this “banana candle” is in a league of its own. What, you have to wonder, were the editors thinking? Did they somehow (and it’s hard to imagine this) fail to notice the incredibly phallic nature of that banana? Was it some sort of elaborate practical joke? Did they actually think it looked nice? Why anyone would want or need to make banana candles is a question for another day. The recipe, should you want to try it at home:

3 bananas
2 tablespoons lemon juice
6 pineapple rings
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
3 glacé cherries

Halve the bananas crosswise, dip in lemon juice and place each half, end uppermost, in a pineapple ring. Drip mayonnaise down the sides of the bananas.
Using a toothpick, fix half a cherry on top of each banana. It will resemble a burning candle in its holder. Place each “candle” on a small plate, lined with lettuce leaves.
Orange slices can be used instead of pineapple rings.
Serves 6.

Are bananas and mayonnaise even edible together? Are they meant to be? None of this is made clear. Instead, the authors move blithely along to other banana delights: banana paella; potato and banana nests; salad mould (featuring green peas, pineapple, and banana, all suspended in gelatin); banana marshmallow; banana jelly; iced banana; nine types of banana cake; four kinds of banana tart; and three different kinds of banana chutney. The tone of the book is upbeat, encouraging readers to try the banana sambal (”Something new at a barbecue! Why not try it next time?”), the caramel banana (”It is popular with children!”), and biriani (”a particularly tasty dish!”). The authors REALLY want you to try cooking with bananas, that much is obvious.

The back of the book promises “easy-to-prepare recipes [that] will garnish your table, delight your palate and turn your mealtimes into truly festive occasions.” Though I remain a little dubious about the “delight your palate” claim, these recipes are nothing if not festive. Banana candles would delight the guests at almost any dinner party, I imagine, if not in quite the way that the authors intended.

More banana books: Everyday Banana Recipes, Bananas Take a Bow, The Chiquita Banana Book, and The Banana Lover’s Cookbook.

Bonus: A frighteningly comprehensive banana bibliography.